In an earlier life I worked as an IT person at a small company. The HR department there was pretty famous for doing a lot of dumb, knee-jerk reaction crap.
One day the restroom had the following sign.
"Please don't take the urinal cakes"
Now my guess is that the HR person saw there was no urinal cake and asked the janitor about it. The janitor not wanting to say they forgot to put in a new cake made up a story about someone taking it. But the HR folks had to immediately put up a sign about it.
I fired off this email to the head of HR about the sign.
To: HR
Subject: Many Questions
- Is someone really removing them?
- How many times has it happened? Must be several times if a sign was needed.
- It is a nice sign, laminated, with a good brick wall graphic to show strength but the wording is a little odd?
- Is it a urinal “cake”, the deodorant thingy, or the “red pad” that people are removing?
- If it’s the deodorant thingy, the sign should say “please don’t eat the urinal cakes.” Or “please don’t eat the urinal cakes they taste like piss”.
- That was written on the Mac’s Place restroom wall at one point in the 1980s. Though not on a nice sign. It was carved with a knife so the letters were all jagged and pointy.
- If it’s the red thing, I think it would less confusing to use “pad” instead of “Cake” so the sign should say “please don’t remove the urinal pad”
- I guess you could still say “please don’t eat the urinal pad” though it would be hard to eat since it’s rubber or plastic. It would still taste like piss.
- By the way, I prefer the deodorant thingy, not to eat but because they make a better target when I piss.
- The red thing is too easy to hit though sometimes I try to hit different holes.
- The occasional cigarette butt or bug makes a good target too.
- Also, if “cake” is referring to the deodorant thingy, it has been removed again (see picture) so the sign didn’t help.
- You may need to chain or glue it to the urinal.
- Glue might not work given the moisture in the urinal so a chain or cable would probably be more secure.
- There may be urinal cake alarms that detect movement and would alert HR on any removal attempt.
- Check Amazon I bet they have them.
- If the removals continue will cameras be needed?
- Maybe just pat-down/frisk everyone before they leave for the day?
- How many urinal cakes (or pads) would have to be stolen before it should be reported to the police?
- Would it be a misdemeanor of felony?
- A felony would ruin your life!? For removing urinal cakes (pads)!
- It would be embarrassing to discuss in prison too,… “what are you in for”... ”uh… Removing urinal cakes (pads)”
- Talk about making bad decisions.
- I don’t understand why anyone would remove a urinal cake (or pad).
- People don’t usually have urinals at home so I doubt they are stealing them to use at home.
- Do people collect them?
- Hang them on the wall?
- Amazon may have a urinal cake (pad) display case for serious collectors.
- I wonder if they are they a good investment?
- Better than baseball cards? The SP500?
- What is the annual return?
- Are there people who appraise urinal cake (pad) collections?
- How do you find them? Where do they advertise?
- I suppose you could take your collection to the “Antiques Roadshow”
- We have a lot of gun nuts here, could people be using them for target practice?
- They would make good targets.
- The deodorant cakes could probably be launched in a trap thrower thingy and probably shatter real good when hit. Biodegradable too.
- The pads would be a better steady target since they are bright red though they already have holes so it would be hard to tell where you hit.
- Cake or Pad, I’d bet they shoot the piss out of them.
- Maybe there a is black market for urinal cakes (pads)?
- Would you use bitcoin to buy them on the Dark Web.
- That’s probably what’s driving the price of Bitcoin so high.
- Could buying stolen urinal cakes (pads) on the dark web land you in jail?
- What if you bought them from an FBI agent posing as a legitimate urinal cake (pad) dealer?
- Seems like entrapment to me.
- The paper towels were gone too, Is someone removing them?
What is this world coming to ? Think of the children.
IT Guy
They didn't fire me or the HR sign maker but did remove the sign.